he wants to bone in the snuggie
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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