3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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