Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
