this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
