Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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