O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
