i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
