I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
