he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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