haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
