her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
