i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
