She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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