I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
