the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
