Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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