oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
