No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
