With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
