She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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