He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
