remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
