I take back everything I said about communal showers
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
