Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We smell like vodka and hangover
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