I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
