I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
