Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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