I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
