dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
