Don't make out with my wife yet
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
