you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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