Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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