what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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