Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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