I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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