i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
