Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
