Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
