i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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