does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
