xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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