There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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