I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
