next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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