We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
