He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
