I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
