peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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