Whod you bang
Don't make out with my wife yet
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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