you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
